Lucy's Day At The Bank
by Shire hobbit
Summary: Ricky's too busy to go to the bank. So Lucy goes. While she's there, some men try to rob the bank. Little did the robbers know, Lucy ... well... talks too much.


Disclaimer: I do not own I Love Lucy or any of the characters. This story is simply for enjoyment.  
  
The Ricardo apartment:  
"Ricky?" Lucy said, talking into the phone. "Ricky, can you stop at the bank on your way home? There's a few things a wanna' get... Wait... Now Ricky, before you say no... I haven't spent very much this month... Oh, well if you don't have time, do you mind if I go?... No, I won't get too much... Okay, thanks Ricky!" Lucy hung up the phone, and turned to Ethel, who was sitting on the couch waiting for Lucy to get off the phone. "Ethel," Lucy said. "Ricky's too busy at the club, so I'm going to the bank. Wanna' come with me?"  
"Sure, why not. There's nothin' else to do today!"  
"Okay, come on then."  
  
  
The bank:  
"Wow. I didn't know so many people spent their Saturday afternoon's in a bank. Why can't they all be out driving somewhere? Or on weekend vacations?" Lucy said. The bank was completely filled with people. They had every teller window open, and it seemed as if none of the lines were moving.  
Lucy and Ethel waited a little while longer. After about 15 minutes, all at once, the lines started moving a little bit faster. "Must've been a group," Ethel said. Lucy nodded, and moved up with the line. When Lucy and Ethel only had two more people ahead of them, two 'big' guys came in. One of them waved a gun and told everybody to get down on the floor. Everybody did. They weren't in the mood to fight a guy with a gun. While the guy with the gun was watching over the hostages, the other guy got a teller, and made her start giving him bunches of money. The guy took the teller into another room, where, out of panic, she had told him there was more money. The two robbers had done some talking; the guy with the gun, his name was Jack. And the guy with the teller, getting the money, his name was Robert.  
All the hostages were in a big group by the wall. Jack was watching over them so, in his words, "they didn't try anything funny." Jack was sitting in the middle of the floor. Lucy seemed to be admiring Jack's gun. "Is that gun real?" she asked.  
"No, Lucy don't," Ethel whispered quickly.  
"You wanna' find out?" Jack asked her.  
"Yeah..." Lucy said, then Jack pointed the gun at her, "Well, no. I guess I don't need to know. I trust you!"  
"That's better," Jack told her.  
"How good's your shot?" Lucy asked.  
"You wanna' find out?" Jack said.  
"Ye-- No," Lucy said smiling, "That's okay."  
"Alright."  
"Mr. Robber Man? Have you ever heard of Ricky Ricardo?" Lucy asked. Ethel was still trying to get her to stop talking, and leave the guy alone. But Lucy just ignored Ethel, "He's my husband, you know."  
"Really?" Jack asked, rolling his eyes. He was obviously annoyed with her.  
But Lucy didn't catch on, "Yes, really. He'd even let me perform at his club, except he's jealous of me. I really am a much better singer than he is. Wanna' hear?"  
Jack shot her a warning look.  
But again, Lucy didn't catch it. She just started singing. Off-key, as usual. She wasn't singing anything in particular, she was just making up words as she went along. Most of them didn't even go together.  
"Listen Lady!" Jack yelled at her.  
"Oh, my name's Lucy."  
"Who cares? --"  
Lucy interrupted him, and stood up, "I thought you were interested." With the tone of her voice, Lucy was obviously getting mad at him.  
Jack stood up as well, "Why would I be interested? The only thing I'm intersted in is practicing my shot," he said, waving the gun.  
Lucy looked down at Ethel, who just shrugged. "And I will practice," Jack continued, "If you don't sit down, and SHUT UP!"  
"Well..." Lucy said, in a tone like she was considering it.  
Jack held up his gun again. "Okay, okay, I'll --" Lucy stopped mid-sentence.  
"I said SIT DOWN," Jack said.  
"Lucy looked down at the floor, and sheepishly said, "I know, but I have to go to the bathroom."  
"Ya' know what Lady? That's too bad. Sit down." When Lucy didn't move, he said, "NOW!"  
When Lucy still didn't move, he shot the gun off in the air, making Lucy sit down right away. After seeing what she did, Jack sat down also. Lucy didn't say anything for about five minutes, then she asked. "So, Mr. Robber. Do you have a family?"  
Jack just shrugged and said, "Didn't I tell you to--"  
"I KNOW, I KNOW!" Lucy yelled at him.  
"Did you just yell at me?" Jack asked.  
"No, I think I whispered." Lucy said.  
Jack sighed. He stood up. Walked three steps, and said. "Ya' know. The only reason I've been putting up with you is because I REALLY don't like to do this. But you've ignored my instructions, so I have no choice." Then, everyone on the floor screamed, as he pointed the gun straight at Lucy...  
  
Jack just started laughing at the way all of the hostages froze. He pulled his gun back, shook his head, and sat back down. Everybody let out a sigh of relief.  
"I'm sorry Mr. Robber. I don't like people mad at me. Are you mad at me?"  
Jack drew in a breath, "Yes!"  
Lucy turned to Ethel and started crying. "Aw. Stop that," Jack told her.  
"Why does everybody always have to pick on me?" Lucy asked in between sobs.  
"Will you stop that if I say I'm not mad at you?"  
Lucy instantly stopped, "Yes! Okay, thank you Mr. Robber Man. You don't know how happy that's made me. Knowing you're not mad at me. Because when people are mad at me, it really makes me feel bad. So, thank you Mr. Robber for... can I call you Jack?"  
  
"Alright, alright. That's it. ROBERT, I'M LEAVING."  
Robert came running out, "Why?"  
Jack pointed to the window. There were a bunch of police cars gathering on the other side of the road. Then said in a tone that only Robert could hear, "If they're out there, I don't wanna' make no noise. Besides that, we agreed not to hurt anybody." Now he raised his voice, "That jabber-mouth red head is drivin' me nuts! Trust me, anything's better than this." Then, while Jack was walking towards the door, Robert grabbed on to him, and tried to pull him back in. Before he knew what had happened, he was no longer trying to keep Jack inside. Jack was pulling Robert outside with him. Jack surrendered them both.  
  
The Ricardo apartment:  
  
After today, neither Lucy or Ethel ever wanted to leave the safety of their apartment building again. When Ricky came home, he ran into Fred, on the way upstairs. "Hey Rick."  
"Hi Fred."  
  
When both of them got to the Ricardo's apartment, they went in. "Hi Lucy, you didn't get too much money at the bank did you?"  
"No, Ricky. I didn't get any."  
"Why not?"  
"Oh, there were two men in there that didn't look too... trustworthy. So, I didn't get any. I went in the bank, and when I left, I came right home. I'm going to bed now."  
"Lucy, it's only 9:30."  
"I know. But I've had a LOOOOOOONG day."  
  
"I'm going to bed too," Ethel said, heading for the door.  
"Why Ethel?" Fred asked.  
"Like Lucy said. It's been a LOOOOOOONG day!"  
  
Lucy was in the bedroom, and Ethel was on her way back to the Mertzes apartment. After Ethel had shut the door, Ricky looked over at Fred. "What was that all about?"  
Fred just shrugged, he had absolutely NO idea...  
  
  
Okay, that's it. I hope you liked it.  



End file.
